Man Vs Woman -True or not?
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even
though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and
none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret
fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!
(recd as fwd email)
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even
though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and
none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret
fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!
(recd as fwd email)
You have read this before, haven't you?
(recd as a fwd email)
Inte lligent Thinking
The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.
"You are employed." He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."
The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."
I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."
The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital.
He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60.
The man realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US.
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!"
The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"
Moral of the story:
M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.
M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy, than a millionaire. .........
Inte lligent Thinking
A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft.
The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.
"You are employed." He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."
The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."
I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."
The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital.
He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60.
The man realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US.
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!"
The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"
Moral of the story:
M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.
M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy, than a millionaire. .........
Dementia Test
Exercise for the brain.
OK, relax, clear your mind, breathe in, breathe out... and begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer :You jumped to the answer thinking, easy, it is toast but the answer is Bread . If you said 'toast' ,give up now and do something else..
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk..' What do cows drink?
Answer: Have you seen a cow drinking ? Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat.. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these??? If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.
4.It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany ). Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East Germany ! ! And West Germany ... Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany , Or no man's land'?
Answer: You don't bury 'survivors'. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury survivors', proceed to the next question.
5. Without using a calculator, here's the next question - You're driving a bus from Sydney to Brisbane
In Sydney , 17 people get on the bus.
In Hornsby , 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.
In Kempsey , 2 people get off and 4 get on.
In Coffs Harbour , 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
In Byron Bay , 3 people get off and 5 people get on.
In Tweed Heads, 6 people get off and 3 get on.
You then arrive at Brisbane ..
Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?
Answer: Don't you remember who was driving the bus??!!
If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.
Height of....
1. What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip
*************
2. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering blank visiting cards.
*************
3. What is height of Active laziness?
Asking for a lift while on a morning walk.
*************
4. What is height of Laziness?
Newly weds adopting a child.
*************
5. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
*************
6. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw the face last.
*************
7. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
*************
8. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman buying one and a half tickets.
*************
9. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath onto the road.
*************
10. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.
Dhoti with a zip
*************
2. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering blank visiting cards.
*************
3. What is height of Active laziness?
Asking for a lift while on a morning walk.
*************
4. What is height of Laziness?
Newly weds adopting a child.
*************
5. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
*************
6. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw the face last.
*************
7. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
*************
8. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman buying one and a half tickets.
*************
9. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath onto the road.
*************
10. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.
Relax a bit...won't you?
Damsel in distress..or should it be damsels ? Look carefully, how many faces do you see? Since you cannot turn the monitor, turn your head to see many faces both in white and black : and in different sizes.
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